According to an Auckland divorce coach, separation has a few key phases: –
- There is the vacillation about the decision – should I go or stay and make it work?
- Then comes the legal work and negotiation of the settlement.
- After that is the surprise to most – what next?
What Happens Next?
Once a romantic relationship ends, life can feel void, frightful, and directionless. Many try and fill this emptiness with a new partnership; unfortunately, too often this leads to further heartbreak and disappointment. Some people choose to ease the pain of loneliness with alcohol and going out but this often results in feeling more desolate
Consumed with either leaving or being left in the aftermath of a divorce, many people do not anticipate the feelings that follow. They find themselves surprised by the emotions that come up, never having considered what would happen in the wake of the relationship’s end. Auckland divorce coach, Adrianne McLean, says this is very common.,
Auckland Divorce Coach – Take Time For Yourself
To have a good divorce, or at least to minimise the trauma, spend some time on yourself. This is an ideal time to explore and uncover the real you: your values, your dreams, and your goals. It is invaluable to do so, in order to create a life that is reflective of who you truly are and that which you deserve.
It is easy, especially in a bad relationship, to lose who you really are. You get so wrapped up in the demands of work, study, children and so forth that you start to go through life without giving real thought to yourself and whether your life is actually serving you. Have you asked yourself who you are,
Self-Reflection
Self-reflection is a useful tool that can aid new or soon-to-be divorcees in exploring their true identity. Thinking back to their early days, or their youth, it is essential to consider what activities used to bring great joy and pleasure, and what had the power to suspend time.
People have different things that they enjoy doing, like cooking, playing an instrument, painting, walking, and more. Taking a moment to identify what holds your interest and allows you to step away from everyday life to your inner world is a very important discovery.
Working on yourself is not just essential for recovery, but it also helps you determine what you want to do with your new life.
Many people, caught up in the flurry of “living a life” and trying to meet the expectations of others, they may begin to feel overwhelmed with anger as a result. This is especially true if your spouse is demanding or selfish. Such an obligation to continue living up to the expectations of others can cause one to forget or become disconnected from knowing their true self and what they truly want or need.
It is crucial to engage in self-reflection post-divorce in order to form a more positive future, separate from the life that someone else or events may have predetermined. Through self-reflection, you can effectively empower yourself to build the life that you desire.
To get help with your separation, talk to an Auckland divorce coach like Adrianne McLean at Reset Coach.